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Er staat dat vandaag de deadline is. Vandaga duurt nog een flink aantal uur. Het nu al sluiten vind ik dan niet duidelijk aangeven.
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Er staat dat vandaag de deadline is. Vandaga duurt nog een flink aantal uur. Het nu al sluiten vind ik dan niet duidelijk aangeven.
DeletedUser
Guest
Titels van verhalen tot nu toe:
-De weg naar Caen
-Beautiful Disaster
-Het mysterie van de Engelenburcht.
-Wraak
-Joopie en het ABC boekje.
-De weg naar Caen
-Beautiful Disaster
-Het mysterie van de Engelenburcht.
-Wraak
-Joopie en het ABC boekje.
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DeletedUser
Guest
ik sluit het niet, ik maak alvast het topic aan voor de verhalen die er al zijn zodat de jury kan beginnen met beoordelen
DeletedUser
Guest
De verhalen die nu al zijn ingeleverd kunnen worden beoordeeld door de jury. Ik hoop mooie beoordelingen te zien en dat alles goed verloopt.
In ieder geval alvast bedankt voor al jullie inzendingen!
In ieder geval alvast bedankt voor al jullie inzendingen!
DeletedUser
Guest
Mijne is nog niet helemaal af (moest nog wat veranderen)...
Maar ik heb hem maar ingeleverd.
Maar ik heb hem maar ingeleverd.
DeletedUser
Guest
eerste verhaal zojuist beoordeeld, hoop dat de andere inzendingen wel wat serieuzer zijn...
DeletedUser
Guest
Alle verhalen zijn nagekeken en beoordeeld. Moet zeggen dat de cijfers wel erg laag zijn raar genoeg. Terwijl ik toch een paar verhalen best goed vind. Nouja, het is alsnog op schaal, dus op zich kan dat niet echt kwaad.
Moet alleen nog even weten, moet ik ze morgen gewoon in het topic posten (als Ramoth ook zijn verhaal ingestuurd heeft en die nagekeken is enzo) of moet ik ze terugsturen naar gimli?
Moet alleen nog even weten, moet ik ze morgen gewoon in het topic posten (als Ramoth ook zijn verhaal ingestuurd heeft en die nagekeken is enzo) of moet ik ze terugsturen naar gimli?
DeletedUser14063
Guest
Well, hier dus mijn verhaal geschreven voor dit.
Einde is wat afgeraggelt want ik was dus nog aan het schrijven al over de deadline
Einde is wat afgeraggelt want ik was dus nog aan het schrijven al over de deadline
He despised ships, he hated the way the sea influences the way the boat goes up and down, left to right. It made his stomach crawl, but never did he give notice to it. As that might lead to the detection of that weakness, and weaknesses were to be kept as a secret. That was one of the things he believed in. Besides, what he didn’t like or actually did like didn’t matter, well it only mattered to him as the rest would simply not care. He knew this for he was a former street urchin.
A memory crossed his minds, (which happened often) a memory of himself saying “Take me anywhere, but here” when he spoke to one of the army recruiters.
“Well, maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to say… But at least it got me off the street” whispered he to himself.
He saw the coast moving towards him, it reminded him of solid ground and that’s all what he wanted and needed. While he knew that the coast wasn’t moving towards him it was rather the other way around, but the sight of the coast was a great moment of relief for William and that was not something to be spoiled by thoughts of how the ship went there. Well the ship? There were dozens of ships approaching the small harbor town. All ships transported troops, food, weapons, armor and all other stuff that one needs to fight a war, a proper war.
To make sure he was going to be one of the first to disembark the ship, he settled himself near the starboard side, where the ramp was going to be set up.
As soon as the ramp was in place, William waited to let others go first as to not give the intention he didn’t like sea travelling and longed for the coast. But he could resist no longer, he hastened of the boat as if he was afraid something terrible might happen any time if he stays any longer on the sea.
He actually truly was afraid. He was afraid a monster of the sea would come forth and claim him and the rest who were still on the ship or the ramp. But what truly unsettled him was the fact that he was afraid. For nowadays he was afraid no more, his previous life on the street had hardened him.
“And there for I shouldn’t be afraid” thought William as he dismissed the fear and moved along.
Out on the street as a street urchin in York, nobody really talks to you apart from making insulting comments or trying to convince you ‘the Lord’ is the only option and the only true way. Well sometimes there were a few who gave in and wanted to show their support. William then did his best to influence them to give him as much as possible.
Therefore William’s social skills are more or less found wanting. On the other hand is an expert at influencing others as that was one of his means to get the necessarily food to survive.
But still he ‘worked’ alone, never in a group for nobody could trust each other on the street.
That he was a loner had been notified by the rest of the men and camp followers. Most still saw him as a street urchin making him yet again an outcast.
William himself couldn’t care less as this was by all means a better life then the life he had lived before out on the street
But there was one thing nobody could deny or would deny and that was that William was a great swordsman and that he held a great potential of becoming a superb Swordsman. His trade-mark was his precision strikes. There was one problem, and that was that he wasn’t very strong. (Having hunger for most of your live all the time doesn’t help you grow strong) But what he lacked in strength he made up in precision. And analyzing, by observing his foe he would detect its weaknesses, its strengths and by combining those two William made a brilliant plan to take down his foe. But observing takes time and time is not always on your side.
While the ships were being unloaded by soldiers other soldiers stood watch in pairs. William stood watch with Tom. Tom was what came closest to a friend for William.
“Why are we here again?” asked tom to start up a conversation. “Because God created us” answered William knowing full well that that wasn’t what Tom meant.
Tom wasn’t going to give it up so early so he replied; “No, I meant; why for Crow’s sake were we sent here?”
“To kill” answered William after which a big smile appeared on his face as if the idea of killing appealed to him. Tom sighed and gave it up…
The English forces, under command by the Earl of Shrewsbury whose name is Talbot, invaded Guienne. The city Bordelais opened the gates and welcomed the English. Gascons joined the ranks of his forces. Knowing full well that the France king wouldn’t allow him to stay he prepared his troops the best he could and he stabilized the surrounding places.
Because of the success of the invasion so far, Talbot recieved reinforcements from the Mainland under command of Lord Lisle son of Talbot.
With about 8000 men from England and some more from the region he now felt confident enough to attack the town of Fronsac.
His forces were successful there and captured Fronsac.
However the French Marshals Jalagnes and Loheac captured the Chatilon Fortress.
Talbot ordered his men to relief Chatillon and they marched towards it.
William had fought in the battle of Fronsac, he hadn’t seen much fighting because by the time he entered the town the battle was already won. But now he was desperate to be the first in, first in means the right to loot first. This made a great deal for the poorer men like William.
William marched at the front of the army. He was one of the first to notice that they were marching straight into a French army. Talbot quickly ordered his troops to form ranks and advance slowly while the archers fired a rain of arrows amongst the disorganized ranks of the enemy which brought death and fear amongst them. After the third volley Talbot ordered everyone to charge the now frightened enemy. William was at the front…
After the order had been given William and the rest of the men increased their speed. their feet made allot of noise combined adding more fear in the hearts of the enemy. William ran forwards alongside the rest, a few more seconds and he would be upon the enemy. For a moment he saw the look on the face of his direct target and that was all that was needed for William to press onwards. For him it seemed to take a lifetime though but finally – William smashed into the enemy line, followed by the rest of the army, he sliced down his sword and cut a stunned French soldier across his head. Ducking low to avoid the sweep of a blade he jumped forwards and thrusted his sword forwards aiming upwards, this sudden move caught the attacking man by surprise and his armour was quickly pierced. It resulted in a stab to the heart. Standing tall William deflected in incoming blow with his buckler after which he tried to counter-attack but his blow was blocked.
The forward men of the French army was quickly slaughtered, and that was enough to break the remaining men, the first group that ran away was at the front, that caused an opening which the English troops used to get more ground and flank the rest. As more men flocked to the coward’s side a horn blowed, the signal for the French to retreat the battle.
Talbot’s cavalry pursued the cowards and most were slain or taken as prisoners by the foot troops.
A memory crossed his minds, (which happened often) a memory of himself saying “Take me anywhere, but here” when he spoke to one of the army recruiters.
“Well, maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to say… But at least it got me off the street” whispered he to himself.
He saw the coast moving towards him, it reminded him of solid ground and that’s all what he wanted and needed. While he knew that the coast wasn’t moving towards him it was rather the other way around, but the sight of the coast was a great moment of relief for William and that was not something to be spoiled by thoughts of how the ship went there. Well the ship? There were dozens of ships approaching the small harbor town. All ships transported troops, food, weapons, armor and all other stuff that one needs to fight a war, a proper war.
To make sure he was going to be one of the first to disembark the ship, he settled himself near the starboard side, where the ramp was going to be set up.
As soon as the ramp was in place, William waited to let others go first as to not give the intention he didn’t like sea travelling and longed for the coast. But he could resist no longer, he hastened of the boat as if he was afraid something terrible might happen any time if he stays any longer on the sea.
He actually truly was afraid. He was afraid a monster of the sea would come forth and claim him and the rest who were still on the ship or the ramp. But what truly unsettled him was the fact that he was afraid. For nowadays he was afraid no more, his previous life on the street had hardened him.
“And there for I shouldn’t be afraid” thought William as he dismissed the fear and moved along.
Out on the street as a street urchin in York, nobody really talks to you apart from making insulting comments or trying to convince you ‘the Lord’ is the only option and the only true way. Well sometimes there were a few who gave in and wanted to show their support. William then did his best to influence them to give him as much as possible.
Therefore William’s social skills are more or less found wanting. On the other hand is an expert at influencing others as that was one of his means to get the necessarily food to survive.
But still he ‘worked’ alone, never in a group for nobody could trust each other on the street.
That he was a loner had been notified by the rest of the men and camp followers. Most still saw him as a street urchin making him yet again an outcast.
William himself couldn’t care less as this was by all means a better life then the life he had lived before out on the street
But there was one thing nobody could deny or would deny and that was that William was a great swordsman and that he held a great potential of becoming a superb Swordsman. His trade-mark was his precision strikes. There was one problem, and that was that he wasn’t very strong. (Having hunger for most of your live all the time doesn’t help you grow strong) But what he lacked in strength he made up in precision. And analyzing, by observing his foe he would detect its weaknesses, its strengths and by combining those two William made a brilliant plan to take down his foe. But observing takes time and time is not always on your side.
While the ships were being unloaded by soldiers other soldiers stood watch in pairs. William stood watch with Tom. Tom was what came closest to a friend for William.
“Why are we here again?” asked tom to start up a conversation. “Because God created us” answered William knowing full well that that wasn’t what Tom meant.
Tom wasn’t going to give it up so early so he replied; “No, I meant; why for Crow’s sake were we sent here?”
“To kill” answered William after which a big smile appeared on his face as if the idea of killing appealed to him. Tom sighed and gave it up…
The English forces, under command by the Earl of Shrewsbury whose name is Talbot, invaded Guienne. The city Bordelais opened the gates and welcomed the English. Gascons joined the ranks of his forces. Knowing full well that the France king wouldn’t allow him to stay he prepared his troops the best he could and he stabilized the surrounding places.
Because of the success of the invasion so far, Talbot recieved reinforcements from the Mainland under command of Lord Lisle son of Talbot.
With about 8000 men from England and some more from the region he now felt confident enough to attack the town of Fronsac.
His forces were successful there and captured Fronsac.
However the French Marshals Jalagnes and Loheac captured the Chatilon Fortress.
Talbot ordered his men to relief Chatillon and they marched towards it.
William had fought in the battle of Fronsac, he hadn’t seen much fighting because by the time he entered the town the battle was already won. But now he was desperate to be the first in, first in means the right to loot first. This made a great deal for the poorer men like William.
William marched at the front of the army. He was one of the first to notice that they were marching straight into a French army. Talbot quickly ordered his troops to form ranks and advance slowly while the archers fired a rain of arrows amongst the disorganized ranks of the enemy which brought death and fear amongst them. After the third volley Talbot ordered everyone to charge the now frightened enemy. William was at the front…
After the order had been given William and the rest of the men increased their speed. their feet made allot of noise combined adding more fear in the hearts of the enemy. William ran forwards alongside the rest, a few more seconds and he would be upon the enemy. For a moment he saw the look on the face of his direct target and that was all that was needed for William to press onwards. For him it seemed to take a lifetime though but finally – William smashed into the enemy line, followed by the rest of the army, he sliced down his sword and cut a stunned French soldier across his head. Ducking low to avoid the sweep of a blade he jumped forwards and thrusted his sword forwards aiming upwards, this sudden move caught the attacking man by surprise and his armour was quickly pierced. It resulted in a stab to the heart. Standing tall William deflected in incoming blow with his buckler after which he tried to counter-attack but his blow was blocked.
The forward men of the French army was quickly slaughtered, and that was enough to break the remaining men, the first group that ran away was at the front, that caused an opening which the English troops used to get more ground and flank the rest. As more men flocked to the coward’s side a horn blowed, the signal for the French to retreat the battle.
Talbot’s cavalry pursued the cowards and most were slain or taken as prisoners by the foot troops.
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DeletedUser14063
Guest
After the battle the army moved onwards their spirits high. After they had marched a full day in total they arrived at the Fortress which was now in the grip of the French army. A few remaining survivors fore-warned the French troops so they dug themselves in; preparing for war.
Talbot ordered his man to assault in a column line after being persuaded by Gascan leaders.
This tactic however deprived Tolbat of his greatest power, his archers. Unable to see clearly they couldn’t do as much damage as they could have done. While Tolbat’s men approached a hail of cannon fire showered his men with stones causing allot of injuries.
William saw the man to his left die as a rock hit him square allot of loose stone rained down aswell but miraculously it didn’t cause any noticeable trouble to William, he pushed on. “the last fight went right, also with a few deaths on their side so this will be the same, right?” William thought.
He noticed that his speed seemed to drop, and his left leg hurt badly, as he managed to look down to his leg quickly he noticed that it was hit by a stone, it had caused a badly bruise but luckily no real trouble. As his speed dropped, he slowly lost is front place as, others who were not hit ran past him. Determined as William was though, he moved onwards despite the pain. He couldn’t see, but he was sure the first men had just hit the French line. He was right; a small part of those who lead at the front now reached the first obstacles. Their numbers were few, as not all made it to the line; stones and arrows were still raining down upon the advancing troops.
The French Sides that were not attacked came out of there cover and started a counter-charge, a counter charge on the right and left flank. Talbot tried to organize the men but he was hit by a bombard which killed his horse and crippled his leg. As word spread that Talbot himself was wounded the morale dropped and started to decrease rapidly.
William was still trying to reach the front when he found Tom standing still, when his eyes meet Willam’s, William read puzzlement in the eyes of his friend.
“Come on! We don’t want to be late for the feast!” encouraged William.
“I don’t know…” A small pause ascended. “I think... We won’t win this one” “They are getting slaughtered there”
“If we run now, we lose anyways. Besides we swore to serve the king and by running we are rather betraying him…”
There was no more time to talk, the rear-attacking Frenchmen attacked and William and Tom were dragged right into the fight.
William and Tom both reacted by facing the enemy side by side. Tom stabbed at the front Frenchman but his blow was easily deflected, but by deflecting it he left a small gap open, a gap large enough for William to swing his sword down in the neck of him. Now the fight was really on as more and more Frenchman charged them while allot of the English troops fled away.
The rear-attack was a great success, for the French, and the English forces fled away. The France Marshalls reacted by sending the cavalry at the routing force as all routing armies are weak against cavalry.
A few men stood there grounds as they knew they couldn’t flee, they would be cut down anyway.
The front men who were fighting their way into the Fortress realized too late that the rest was routing. It didn’t take a long time before they surrendered and where taken as prisoners for they couldn’t go back the way they had come as that was now full of French men.
William and Tom were one of those who stood their ground, side by side as slowly; one by one they fell to the enemy.
Tobad’s body squires and his son defended his crippled body till the last. They were all killed.
Thomas saw tom fall as he saw the point of a sword sticking out of his stomach, everything was seen through slow-motion and William’s heart was filled with anger. He swung his sword round and hit one in the arm. The momentum of the swing brought him at the Killer of Tom, deflecting the strike of the Killer with his buckler he sliced at him but was in turn deflecting by his buckler. William kicked with his foot the Killer at the back of his leg causing him to lose balance as William went for another try, his sword cut the throat of the killer but his final move cut the arm of William, he didn’t feel the pain though, misery overruled the pain. There was now only one thing he wanted, only one thing he needed and that was; to be anything but here, so he spoke; “God, please take me anywhere but here. Please, I repent to my sins and I shall kill no longer! Please -”
He couldn’t finish what he wanted to say as he was stabbed from behind by two Frenchmen
Most of the Army was taken as prisoners or killed; only a handful had escaped. This meant the End of the Earl’s Invasion and led to the supreme defeat of the English forces, The French Claimant had hereby won the throne for a while.
Talbot ordered his man to assault in a column line after being persuaded by Gascan leaders.
This tactic however deprived Tolbat of his greatest power, his archers. Unable to see clearly they couldn’t do as much damage as they could have done. While Tolbat’s men approached a hail of cannon fire showered his men with stones causing allot of injuries.
William saw the man to his left die as a rock hit him square allot of loose stone rained down aswell but miraculously it didn’t cause any noticeable trouble to William, he pushed on. “the last fight went right, also with a few deaths on their side so this will be the same, right?” William thought.
He noticed that his speed seemed to drop, and his left leg hurt badly, as he managed to look down to his leg quickly he noticed that it was hit by a stone, it had caused a badly bruise but luckily no real trouble. As his speed dropped, he slowly lost is front place as, others who were not hit ran past him. Determined as William was though, he moved onwards despite the pain. He couldn’t see, but he was sure the first men had just hit the French line. He was right; a small part of those who lead at the front now reached the first obstacles. Their numbers were few, as not all made it to the line; stones and arrows were still raining down upon the advancing troops.
The French Sides that were not attacked came out of there cover and started a counter-charge, a counter charge on the right and left flank. Talbot tried to organize the men but he was hit by a bombard which killed his horse and crippled his leg. As word spread that Talbot himself was wounded the morale dropped and started to decrease rapidly.
William was still trying to reach the front when he found Tom standing still, when his eyes meet Willam’s, William read puzzlement in the eyes of his friend.
“Come on! We don’t want to be late for the feast!” encouraged William.
“I don’t know…” A small pause ascended. “I think... We won’t win this one” “They are getting slaughtered there”
“If we run now, we lose anyways. Besides we swore to serve the king and by running we are rather betraying him…”
There was no more time to talk, the rear-attacking Frenchmen attacked and William and Tom were dragged right into the fight.
William and Tom both reacted by facing the enemy side by side. Tom stabbed at the front Frenchman but his blow was easily deflected, but by deflecting it he left a small gap open, a gap large enough for William to swing his sword down in the neck of him. Now the fight was really on as more and more Frenchman charged them while allot of the English troops fled away.
The rear-attack was a great success, for the French, and the English forces fled away. The France Marshalls reacted by sending the cavalry at the routing force as all routing armies are weak against cavalry.
A few men stood there grounds as they knew they couldn’t flee, they would be cut down anyway.
The front men who were fighting their way into the Fortress realized too late that the rest was routing. It didn’t take a long time before they surrendered and where taken as prisoners for they couldn’t go back the way they had come as that was now full of French men.
William and Tom were one of those who stood their ground, side by side as slowly; one by one they fell to the enemy.
Tobad’s body squires and his son defended his crippled body till the last. They were all killed.
Thomas saw tom fall as he saw the point of a sword sticking out of his stomach, everything was seen through slow-motion and William’s heart was filled with anger. He swung his sword round and hit one in the arm. The momentum of the swing brought him at the Killer of Tom, deflecting the strike of the Killer with his buckler he sliced at him but was in turn deflecting by his buckler. William kicked with his foot the Killer at the back of his leg causing him to lose balance as William went for another try, his sword cut the throat of the killer but his final move cut the arm of William, he didn’t feel the pain though, misery overruled the pain. There was now only one thing he wanted, only one thing he needed and that was; to be anything but here, so he spoke; “God, please take me anywhere but here. Please, I repent to my sins and I shall kill no longer! Please -”
He couldn’t finish what he wanted to say as he was stabbed from behind by two Frenchmen
Most of the Army was taken as prisoners or killed; only a handful had escaped. This meant the End of the Earl’s Invasion and led to the supreme defeat of the English forces, The French Claimant had hereby won the throne for a while.
DeletedUser
Guest
nice story khaduffi!
DeletedUser14063
Guest
Thx maar hoe kan je hem zo snel hebben gelezen
DeletedUser
Guest
Thx maar hoe kan je hem zo snel hebben gelezen
hahaah ik dacht al dat je dat zou vragen, ik ben nu bezig maar tot nu toe vindt ik hem al heel leuk!
DeletedUser14063
Guest
k, thx. veel succes/plezier met lezen. (en goed geraden)
DeletedUser
Guest
DeletedUser
Guest
DeletedUser
Guest
die gimli....
geloof dat je gelijk hebt ja
. Zal het vanavond/morgen ook even lezen .DeletedUser
Guest
Kunnen we niet alvast een nieuw jaartal doen?
DeletedUser
Guest
Kunnen we niet alvast een nieuw jaartal doen?
tuurlijk! maar ik was bang dat niemand dat nog wou maar OK
en ja ik vind heel veel verhalen mooi Miedi!